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ATH Blog Posts

How Challenging Feelings Can be a Guidepost to Our Needs

How Challenging Feelings Can be a Guidepost to Our Needs - ATH Blog

Often, it’s quite hard to tolerate or accept our most troublesome feelings. That’s why we use our capacity to seethat these feelings are the deepest source of our suffering. However, our negative reactions to these difficult feelings are what causes the more sustaining pain and suffering than the original feelings themselves, although that’s rarely obvious to any of us. This requires looking more deeply at ourselves and asking, “How do I feel about this deepest suffering?” Read More . . .

Extraordinary Lessons from 4 American TV Shows

Extraordinary Lessons from 4 American TV Shows - ATH Blog

As someone who has had a difficult time finding meaningful television shows or movies, Over the last several years I’ve watched four truly remarkable exceptions that display life lessons that give us deep insights beyond the ordinary ways we are raised.  Read More . . .

Hearing needs as demands — the healing potential of this realization

Hearing needs as demands — the healing potential of this realization - ATH Blog

One of the cornerstone distortions in love relationships, friendships and all other kinds of relationships is inaccurately seeing “the other’s” expression of a need as a demand. When we exaggerate the genuine expression of a need and instead experience it as a demand, it sets up the unfortunate and inevitable likelihood of misunderstandings. It can also compromise your own ability or desire to be responsive in a kind and cooperative way.  Read More . . .

What’s the danger in hearing perceptions as judgments?

What’s the danger in hearing perceptions as judgments? - ATH Blog

One of the most unrecognized patterns by the general population, and even unwittingly by most therapists, that causes suffering, especially in love relationships, is when one partner or party views and experiences the other’s “perceptions” as “judgments.” Turning perceptions into judgments is one of the least understood dynamics in communication, and is a real source of loss of intimacy, trust and compatibility.  Read More . . .

The Art of Setting Clear, Graceful Boundaries with Family and Friends This Holiday Season

The Art of Setting Clear Graceful Boundaries

All over the world, we’re grappling with family and friendship dilemmas. In America alone, these challenging situations are probably more complex than they have been in a very long time — probably even since the Civil War. Most of my friends, colleagues, and clients are in the midst of dealing with impossible relatives or conversations that revolve around prejudice, hatred, racism, insurrection, political divisions, immigration, or homeless intolerance, to name a few. Read more . . .